


Letters to my Brother

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Durincest, Fiki, Letters, M/M, mention of romantic feelings, reclaiming Moria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-02
Updated: 2014-04-02
Packaged: 2018-01-17 22:28:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1404853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The letters Fili wrote to his brother when he joined Balin in the quest to reclaim the ancient dwarwen kingdom Moria.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letters to my Brother

Kili

I know you are angry at me for leaving you behind, but Thorin would never have let you go in the first place, you know that! He is far too protective of you and that orc-wound you took all those years ago has still not healed properly. Perhaps it never will. You know this, just as well as I do. And no protests, I have seen the pain on your face when you think no one is watching. It is still hurting you.

Then there is Frerin. You know he died where I am going now and you know how much of him Thorin sees in you. He doesn’t want you to suffer the same fate. I know the circumstances are different this time, but it is too dangerous. You will be heir to the throne if I should fall. But do not worry about that now, I will return to you as I promised. I bear the rune stone mother gave to you over my heart and I feel it with every breath I take. It reminds me of your touch and of your love and it gives me strength. I will return to you.

We followed the River Running down as far south as it went and then went through Mirkwood at the East Bight. The southern parts are a lot more beautiful than it is in the north, now that the Necromancer has gone from Dol Guldur. We’ll reach Anduin, the Great River in about a fortnight. It’ll be hard to cross with a thousand soldiers afoot, so we might have to build a bridge to cross it.

I fear for Balin. He is too old and should have stayed in Erebor, but he insisted on going in Thorin’s place. He is growing a bit weaker every day, but he doesn’t seem to realize it. I tried talking him into going back to Erebor, but he is stubborn as a mule. He intends to die in battle, I think, instead of rotting away in some dusty old chamber. He wants to make his ancestors proud before he dies. He says warriors should never be allowed to grow as old as he has. There is no use.

Ori seems to grow more and more nervous with every passing day. He was never a great warrior, but he insists on recording our journey for future generations. Of course, if we all die, these letters and a few more might be all that reaches Erebor, for as long as we have ravens to send them.  I myself brought ten. That should be enough for now but you will have to send us some more when Moria is finally ours again. When is safe, you may come down here as well. After all, the ancient halls of Khazad-Dum should be ruled by the heirs of Durin, right?

Do not worry about me _nadadith_ , I am doing fine. Thorin needs you in Erebor, just like he needs me here. I never wanted to leave you Kili, but it was my duty to do so. I am thinking about you in every waking hour and I dream about you at night. I really miss you and I promise, as soon as this is done, I will be by your side again. I promise you _nadadith_. I will return to you.

Fili

 

* * *

 

 

Kili

We finally crossed Anduin. There is only a few days march until we reach the mountains. These lands are held by the elves of Lothlorien, but we will walk around their woods. They would not permit an army of dwarves to pass through their precious trees anyway.

Balin and I has been speaking of who will rule in Moria when the time comes. He does not see me as his leader like he saw Thorin, but that is just as good. For now, I will let him rule. As Balin himself used to say; If you wish to become a great leader, learn how to follow. That is what I intend to do for now. But he is old Kili, understand this. I will let him have his last days of glory, but if he falls, it will all land on my shoulders and I am not sure if I could bear such a heavy burden just yet. I have fought a war before, but you were by my side back then. You gave me strength. This time, I am on my won. I am starting to regret leaving you behind, but there is nothing we can do about that now. You will be the one I fight for. Seeing you again will feel better than any crown ever will. You are my light in the darkness Kili. We will meet again.

Fili

 

* * *

 

Kili

We drove out orcs from the great gate and guardroom. Many orcs fell by our axes in the bright sun of the Dale. Many of our own were slain by the arrows of the orcs. Balin, Ori, Oin and I were spared, do not worry. We are all well. Even Nali* is well, though he and Oin are busy healing the wounded. We think some of the arrows were like the one that wounded you all those years ago. Those wounded by them will not make it.

We took the twenty-first hall of the North end yesterday and we have settled down here. I do not like this place Kili. There is so much death in these halls. I barely slept at all last night. I miss the open sky and the road. This is nothing like Erebor in the first few months after we took it, Kili. These halls are older and darker. The very air is rotten. There are spiders everywhere and you know how I feel about spiders, even the little ones.

Balin has taken the Chamber of Mazarbul, also known as the Chamber of Records for his seat. It is a rather small hall, with weak defences, but the hall itself seems secure. It is really huge Kili, you could not possibly imagine how magnificent it is!

I walked alone last night when I could not sleep. There are huge columns rising high up into a roof so far up that our torches are too weak to find. It seems quiet enough, although I got this nasty feeling of being watched last night. Some of the soldiers think there are great nests of orcs up there and that they are just waiting to strike. It worries me, but we are doing well so far. There are about eight hundred of us left now, Ori just told me. I thought you should know. If it gets worse, I’ll write to Thorin and have him send us more soldiers. But for now we are good.

I really miss you Kili. It is growing cold without you. My heart is yearning for you Kili, I yearn for your smile and your laugh and your voice. The rune stone is warm against the skin of my chest and I rarely notice it anymore.

We’ll explore even further tomorrow. If there are no more letters in the next few days, assume that I am dead.

Fili

 

* * *

 

 

Kili

We found this old weaponry and it held a mighty axe made of pure gold, with gems I cannot even name! Balin thinks it might be Durin’s Axe, the legendary weapon that was lost in Moria long ago, together with his mail and helm. It is said that only this axe can kill the so-called Durin’s Bane, a great beast of the shadows and flame that lurks in the depths of Moria. We have not yet seen or heard anything of it and so far as we are concerned, it is only a tale to tell the young.

Balin is now officially the Lord of Moria and I am his consort. You have surely already heard this, as letters has been sent out to Erebor, as well as Ered Luin in the Blue Mountains and the Iron Hills. We have cleared out three more halls and the amount of orcs has shrunk a lot since we first came here! Maybe we all overestimated how many of the vile creatures dwelled here.

I haven’t seen Oin in a while, not after he took a team to explore the lower levels near the Western Gate three days ago. I hope they are fine.

Fili

 

* * *

 

 

Kili

Balin is dead. He went alone to look in the Mirror Mere, but an orc shot him with an arrow from behind a stone. He should never have gone out there alone, but he said that he had to go there on his own. We slew the orc, but many more came up from the east, up the Silverlode. He wanted me to take the seat as Lord now, he told me as much before he died. But the Chamber of Mazarbul will not be my seat. It will be his tomb.

More orcs are coming to Moria. We need help! We are too few! Only five hundred without the ones Oin took. He still doesn’t know of Balin’s death and I fear that he is lost to us. Ori is my consort now, though both of us are anxious to leave. This is not a good place Kili. Our soldiers disappear every day without any trace. We suspect the orcs have secret entrances in the mountain that we do not know of. I do not dare to walk the halls alone now, especially not at night. But most of the time, it is hard to separate night and day. The only daylight I have seen the last week is the small ray of light that shines on Balin’s tomb.

I am planning on leaving Moria, but I want to know what has become of Oin and his small host first. I am sending fifty men to look for them on the morrow, and I have told them that if they are still not back here in a week, we will leave without them.

We will meet again soon, _nadadith_.  I will keep my promise to you.

Fili

 

* * *

 

 

Brother

We have barred the gates and I do not know for how long we can hold them. There are orcs in the halls, more than there was in the battle for Erebor. There are so few of us left, less than a hundred. The host I sent out to look for Oin returned with only three where there had been fifty. They told me the pool is up to the wall at Westgate. The lower levels are flooded with water! We do not know how that came to pass, but they told me that the Watcher in the Water must have taken Oin and his men. They barely got out of there with their lives.

The bridge of Khazad Dum is lost, and the Second Hall as well. We lost many good men there, Frar, Loni and Nali included. There is no way out Kili! We need your help! We need reinforcements! We are trapped here Kili. We cannot get out!

We have barred ourselves inside Balin’s tomb, but they are outside the gates! They are breaking in, Kili. They are doing it slowly, but they are breaking in! Ori is writing as well, but apart from that, the seventy-six others are barring up the door to the tomb. Seems like this will be our tomb as well as Balin’s.

They were up in the roof, Kili! Hidden in nests like wasps! Hundreds upon hundreds of them! We cannot win this battle, I am sorry. There are too few of us.

I am sorry I never sent any of my letters to you like I promised. Perhaps when you come here to rescue us, you will find them and read them. Or maybe you never will. It doesn’t really matter. Writing to you has given me strength like you couldn’t imagine! I would never have gotten this far without you, _nadadith_.

I lov-

 

**Author's Note:**

> *Nali's name was in the Fellowship of the Ring when I read through it to find what I needed to write this fic, but it is also the name of Kili's best friend in my roleplays with kilitheyoungest on tumblr, so the first mention of him is in tribute to that.
> 
> Nadadith - the brother that is young
> 
> As for the rest of the fic, I am sorry for your feels~


End file.
